She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
