Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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