I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize