The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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