Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
