we're blogging at a bar
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
