was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
