i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
