You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
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It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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