Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
