Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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