38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
