I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
