I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
