Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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