So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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