we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
