I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
