I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
