dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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