A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
