Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
