I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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