I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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