I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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