my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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