if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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