are you still at the devil's house?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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