we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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