So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize