More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
