I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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