hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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