I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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