but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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