You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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