my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
