You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
