bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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