Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
