Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
did you just send me my own nude
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You are a genius and a whore.
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