you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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