i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
