a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
