We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
how does that bad decision feel?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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