Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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