Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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