Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
