You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The best revenge is premature balding
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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