My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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