and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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