Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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