Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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