Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
