My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
