And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
