so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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