those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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