Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize